Terraforming, for Moon Fun and Profit

Will we have trees on the moon on day? It’s safe to say that the answer is absolutely yes. Terraforming is currently making leaps and bounds, and also skips and jumps, albeit with some coughs and splutters. Just yesterday I conducted my latest terraforming experiment in my small greenhouse, and I ended up creating an atmosphere of 98% carbon dioxide. Still, these things are to be expected when you’re trying to change the world…or, change the moon, as it were. We’ll get there, and within a generation by my estimate we’ll be living it up on the surface of Luna, free from domes and worrying about oxygen.

So naturally, we’ll be needing tree removal, and possibly even tree pruning. Melbourne arborists are currently required because trees just get out of control, and need to be handled by professionals. We’ll be able to terraform the Moon’s surface, so I’m thinking the trees will be so very voracious and full of life that we’ll need tree pruning all the time. People will have to study at the University of Luna for years, just so they can learn the tree pruning skills necessary to keep up with the experts. Luna will be known for its abundant trees and foliage, unlike Earth, which will be then have completed its downward spiral into an industrial wasteland, choked by smog, and a horrible place where nothing ever grows. Thus, the leafy expanses of Luna, where tree pruning is a heroic profession, will be a refuge and haven for the privileged!

When I finish the terraforming process, that is. I might not actually work as a professional tree trimmer near Melbourne as of yet, but I have a LOT of experience in taking care of the small plantation I have on the balcony of my apartment, inside my miniature, makeshift greenhouse. Though I’m afraid I can’t practice today…too much toxic gas.

-Brother Byren

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