Oxygen Isn’t Really All that Medical

You know that feeling you get when you just  can’t take a full breath? Yeah, I’ve had that for about three months now. I keep thinking that it’ll go away, but every morning…the same. And people in my family are terrible about going to the doctor, like it’s a competition to see who can go the longest. Might help if we didn’t all have a scoreboard in our homes with ‘LAST BABY WHO WENT TO THE DOCTOR’, followed by the dates and how long each person has managed to last.

Alright, so maybe it actually IS a competition and not just ‘sort-of’ a competition. But I’m trying to beat the record of Uncle Sam, who went 34 years. Then he died of lung failure…still, he’s got a gold star on the wall! And I’ve heard that you can get portable hyperbaric chambers in Melbourne, so I’m hatching a plan.

Technically, hyperbaric oxygen chambers don’t really count as going to the doctor. They’re therapeutic, sure, but you could say that it’s the same way as buying one of those foot spas; people who are already pretty healthy can use them and no one will raise an eyebrow. Members of my family will at least be raising those eyebrows, but I’ll just say that I’m getting a portable chamber for general health benefits, and enjoyment. After all, we tend to eat healthy (to avoid the doctor), we exercise (same reason) and so this is basically that. No one needs to know that my breathing has become more and more laboured every single day, and sometimes I make this strange rattling noise every time I breathe in. Nope…it’s all fine. Everything is fine, I’m fine. How are YOU doing? I just had a look around Melbourne, oxygen therapy is quite prolific nowadays. Try some, why don’t you?

-Marley

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