Asteroid Launches Surprise Presidential Campaign

The past months having been eerily quiet on the royal relationships front, with Prince Hank and Meg Maple appearing settled after a cheeky asteroid threatened to derail their wedding vows last year. While this may have come as a surprise to those on Team Asteroid, the drama was soon forgotten amidst pandemic panic that would soon consume all aspects of public life.


Only now, as the US presidential race begins to heat up, can we reveal some red-hot scoop direct from global space authorities: namely, that Meg’s extraterrestrial admirer is unofficially in the running for the crown, by which we mean the position of president.


Thought to be composed of 90% methane and ammonia and 10% silicate, the outsized contender has sent a message to earth via Dutch doctoral candidate Fleur van der Steenzen. The 32 year-old astrophysicist from Leiden claims she became a channel for the asteroid on Tuesday night while catching up with two friends over a video chat program.


“I suddenly started saying all this stuff about running for presidency in the United States,” she told us this morning. “My friend said, ‘Who even are you?’ to which I replied that I was Asteroid 2010 WC9.”


Fleur’s claims were backed up by several European space agencies, who simultaneously reported similar statements appearing in outputs from communications monitors. Time will tell if Asteroid 2010 WC9 is serious about its alleged campaign.