Caught in the Crossfire

I hate being caught in the middle of things. My high school careers counsellor always said I’m a pacifist by nature, and that I’d be a good diplomat because I can see both sides of an issue. What he failed to realise is that, while it’s true that I can see both sides, it’s precisely for this reason that I don’t care to advocate for either of them. Unfortunately for me, I often find myself in positions of being expected to do just that.

In this case, it’s regarding the ambient temperature in the office. Specifically, it’s about who is allowed access to the heater remote, of all things. I get that people have strong feelings about it, and believe themselves to be perfectly justified in their tactics. But some of the things people are resorting to are downright nasty, especially when you consider that it’s all over something as basic as heating and cooling. Moorabbin is pretty temperate, really, so I just don’t get how it’s that big a deal, either way. 

For example, Evan claims that Edith is faking arthritis in order to get permanent, unimpeachable control of the remote, but I don’t know whether to believe him or not. That said, if Evan is telling the truth, then Edith’s thing is pretty manipulative. Who can you trust? All I know is that I’m due for a ducted heating service. Companies in Melbourne can do what they like with their office heating systems; I’m just going to keep mine in good working order so that it works when I actually need it. Let’s be real: in this part of the world, that’s virtually never.

I’m suss on Evan, though. He’s hardly above hatching a scheme or two of his own – I know for a fact that he phoned me pretending to be from the FBIIOCM (the Federal Bureau of Investigations Into Office Climate Malpractice). I guess he was trying to get me on board as an ally, and I kind of humoured him. Between you and me, I think he’s getting a bit caught up in a flight of espionage-themed fancy. Tone it down, Evan.