All Things Natural, Including Bugs

Oh, I just LOVE me some natural insect products. At first I was all like ‘ew, no’, and then I learned that kombucha tea is made in an…interesting way, with fungus and all that nasty slimy stuff. After that, I’ve basically come to accept that anything can be good, regardless of how it was made. Kombucha is so life-giving that I was able to see past the strange method of its creation, and it was a beautiful moment, to be sure.

Anyway, I go to a special market on Tuesday mornings between the hours of 5:30am and 7:25am, and I get a special face paste that makes me feel like I’ve just dipped my face in almond milk, for the whole day! I asked how it was made once, and apparently they do it by grinding up termites.

That’s…cool! I like it! I’m not one to judge, and there are some lovely pest control experts near Sorrento that I know of who are probably kept in business by this little bit of pocket change. Well, maybe they do their actual jobs of removing pests and termites, and that’s what keeps them in business, but it’s nice to know all of those dead termites aren’t going to waste. You know, in my culture, pest control is a sacred art that demonstrates the bond between man and insect, and why that bond must sometimes be broken when one party steps over the line. Ugh, I just LOVE how my country is so bathed in culture, much like my face is bathed in termite cream every single day.

Okay, I won’t lie…thinking about how many of those little creepy-crawlies gave their lives so they could be ground into paste, then combined with water to make a cream, did creep me out at first. I washed my face…more than once, I will say. But that was before I saw the way, man. It’s just the cycle of things. Just ask the experts for the best pest control Mornington has ever seen. They know how to get rid of the pests the right way. The guy at the market with the hunchback and the lazy eye goes by night and steals their corpses, grinds them into paste and sells it at an exclusive market. And I buy that product and put it on my face, giving it new life. That’s just how nature works.


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