My Future Cooling EMPIRE

There has been quite the significant breakthrough in our attempt to create the perfect, flawless air con unit that is peerless above all the rest, which is a shame, because I may soon have to dispose of everyone in the office. They know too much, and some of them even know things that I don’t know. Ergo, someone of my brilliance cannot tolerate intellectual superiority. They all must go, and soon.

But they’re useful, for now, and no one suspects that once we chance upon the perfect air conditioning formula, I’m going to steal it and spirit it away back to Canberra for phase delta of my master plan. For you see, Canberra will be the only place in all of Australia with perfect air conditioning services. Canberra, above all others, will be basking in the cool air while the rest of Australia swelters, or spends large amounts of money to upgrade their normal air con units to slightly better, but still flawed air con units.

Then, once everyone is begging for the secrets of our special air conditioning magnificence, Canberra will secede from the rest of the country and become its own entity, becoming fabulously wealthy by selling its air con units to the world, though all of them will be equipped with special anti-tampering devices that will cause them to melt if anyone tries to unlock their secrets. So Canberra will be rich, famous, admired and everyone will be jealous. And I, the scientist who made it all happen, the only one left standing once I’m done, will be elected queen of the kingdom of Canberra, air conditioning bastion of wonder.

You have to admit, if you need a plan to create your own nation and become its monarch, it’s a pretty good one. Everyone loves air con; it gets hot enough for it in like 90% of places in the world. It’s the one guaranteed economic success story. And that story of success…will be mine.

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